I wrote about that at length right before giving birth, and it was really well received. Now, I’m writing all of this while considering my present cannabis use and contrasting it with how I used to smoke before having a baby. I know this is all natural and, truth be told, I’m even grateful I get to experience it for the perspective it will give me. I’m much happier being on this side of things, even if I’m struggling with anxiety still. I’m proud of myself, and I had a lot of support, but to be completely honest, it sucked. I weathered a broken ankle, gestational diabetes, and perinatal anxiety and depression in anticipation of giving birth without any of my usual tips and tricks (nor painkillers for the injury) while working 40+ hours a week putting out a monthly magazine. I didn’t have that option while I was pregnant and that was hard for me. I am grateful I have cannabis in my life again to help ride the waves of anxiety. This means that-even though I need to work and I LIKE to work, and it’s okay that I do!!!-I am totally losing my mind and wracked with guilt over doing so. It’s why when I look at him I actually want to eat him sometimes. We have cells in each others’ bodies and stuff. There are just simple biological truths about having babies, and one of them is that mother and baby are inextricably physically linked long after birth. It's a very hopeless song because it reflects real life.I anticipated being totally emotionally overwhelmed by going back to work after maternity leave, and, of course, I am. that is going on in the world, often run by huge yet nearly invisible organizations, corporations, and 'leaders'. While our lives are often shielded, we're in our own protective bubbles, or protective helmets like the one Thom wears, if we look a little harder we can see all the corruption, lies, manipulation, etc. He'd rather die peacefully right now than live in this cage. But there is seemingly no way out but death. politicians and businessmen, perhaps) is not the way to live. This boring, "perfect" life foisted upon us by some higher powers (not spiritual, but political, economic, etc. In the video, his helmet is slowly filling up with water, drowning him. On No Surprises, the narrator is realizing how this life is killing him slowly. People are being used by those in power "like a pig in a cage on antibiotics"-being pacified with things like new phones and cool gadgets and houses while being sucked dry. But in Fitter, Happier the narrator(?) realizes that it's incredibly robotic to live this life. We're told to strive for some sort of ideal life, which includes getting a good job, being kind to everyone, finding a partner, getting married, having a couple kids, living in a quiet neighborhood in a nice big house, etc. Same ideas expressed in Fitter, Happier are expressed in this song. The chorus is about his thoughts, obsession with some songs, but also perhaps regrets for doing the drug during the exprience. Verse 4 describes time disorientation (very common side effect), emotional attachment to the girls who is he worried about saying the right thing to (common side effects), and the nagging heaven overhead. Verse 3 has his friends asking him to describe the experience and all he can say is he sees a beautiful heaven over him (probably the lights). Verse 2 describes the emotional experiences which are paranoia/fear and love/devotion. Verse 1 explains the visual experience but also the contemplation about what it means. It's very hard to describe the experience if you haven't been through it, but the one adjective I'd use is "religious". These mushrooms cause colors to become brighter and textures to appear richer (because of dilated eyes), intense emotional responses (euphoria, elation, depression, disorientation often all at the same time), and slight hallucinations though usually these hallucinations are very determined by the context of the environment and thoughts of the individual (lights appear to be tiny bubbles, a face in a painting appears to be grinning, a table looks like a sea). Everything else in the song seems to support this interpretation. "Cap" is a nickname for "liberty caps" a psychedelic mushroom. What I want to say to the girls at the door?īut I can't get around the river in front of me.Īnd to the bone (pat yourself on the back), Is it time to leave? Is it time to think about Play Let It Be (pat yourself on the back) I say a bright white beautiful heaven hanging over me. What I wanna say to the girls at the doorīut I can't get around the river in front of meĪnd to the bone (pat yourself on the back) There's a time to leave, there's a time to think about Play "Let It Be" (pat yourself on the back) I say a bright white beautiful heaven hanging over me
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